The Four Letter "F" Word

Again, I'm back up in Lafayette at my apartment. Again, feelings of loneliness and fear shock my body with a sting. My sister and I hung out and went to lunch which was really fun. I unpacked boxes and organized my apartment. Before I knew it, it was 4:45pm. I had to start thinking about dinner. All of the sudden I wasn't hungry anymore. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't want to eat dinner. The feeling of the dreaded "F" word swept me off my feet. FEAR. It seeped through my entire being and I froze. What do I do? I know that I need to eat dinner, but I don't want to in this moment. I know the consequences of not eating but I guess I don't really know the consequences of actually eating and still feeling emotions. Fear of the unknown. But clearly the known hadn't been working so well for me. I texted a few people to express my feeling of not wanting to eat. My dear friend texted me back with a response that hit home. She said, "You might not want to, but you have to. Walk out your freedom." It hit me. Not eating equals imprisonment. Eating equals freedom. Which will I choose? Will I sit in my prison desperately trying to reattach my broken shackles? Or will I walk out my freedom? Tonight I am pleased to say that I chose to walk out my freedom. I walked out the door to the grocery and got food. I came home and cooked dinner and ate it. It wasn't easy, but I did it! I will have to continue to consciously choose freedom each and every meal until it becomes natural for me. I am walking out my freedom!
Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
Isaiah 30:21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."